Uncharted Waters
by chrihstie
Summary: Indefinite hiatus.
1. Promise

**Uncharted Waters.**

* * *

**Synopsis: **

**Bluebell Hamada** seldom got visions that were way too vivid for her to pass upon as random dreams. She had come to terms with the fact that they were memories of her past life, packaged with convenient knowledge that set her apart from her peers. She was young but she was smarter and more mature than the rest of them. But with all of that, she was more cynical. Bluebell knew of the cold, cruel world. And she knew of the equally cold, cruel people. The only person she trusted was her brother and now, he was gone.

And now, she's not too sure why she's standing in front of a group of people she is actually allowing herself to trust. Bluebell was led to them by **Byakuran**, someone she decided to put trust into. Though she's not too sure she's ready for these people. These people that called themselves the **Vongola**, a mafia family. But they'll be her family, they said. They'll all be her brothers and they'll all be her sisters. Those words seemed too good to be true though for some reason, she'll let herself believe it.

Life was difficult. Life was never easy. Life was hard to understand.. Even if she was accompanied by the experiences of her past life. _"Just because I know how to swim, doesn't mean I can fight against the current of relentless waves in a cruel sea."_

* * *

**Pairings:** To be decided! I'm thinking one sided love for Byakuran, maybe Kikyo. Potential pairings with Bel (though he's older) and perhaps Fuuta (same age) c: ... Though idk who she'll end up with~

**Updates:** I don't know how fast updates will be since I'm just uploading all my story ideas for the meantime. I have at least three other stories I'm trying to prioritize so.. Yeah. I'll try for weekly but I'm not sure. :o

**Important Note**: This is set after the future ARC. 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own KHR (I could only wish) and I don't own my cover photo (I'm way too lazy to draw my own).

* * *

**A/N: **She seems mature now (could you blame her with some memories of a past life?) but I'll give her more of that canon character of hers once she decided to open up to people. c:  
She'll meet the rest soon, not too far away. I plan on having her meet them while she's 9, an age I decided to set up since it's an AU. I'm not too sure how old she was in the future so I couldn't calculate how old she'd be in the 'present' time when Tsuna is around 15. I also picked a random last name for her. Time skip will in a few chapters.  
Byakuran and Bluebell's past are based off of the Forth Secret Bullet Novel. And I'm not making up her past or anything, her brother died to save her. But I'm going to make it so that her legs are recoverable and not because of Byakuran's parallel knowledge's ways, haha.

Whether or not the past self knew of the KHR world... well. We'll see. :D (Because I've yet to decide. Opinions?)

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

* * *

Bluebell stared absentmindedly at her parents who were bustling around in the kitchen, about to go to a party. They didn't even care. They never cared.

Oh no, never. It was always about the kind of earrings mom adorned or the kind of tie dad wore. About the impression they made or how many business partners they would gain. How they would look on camera or how people would see them.

It was about them. It was never about her. And even in the end, never about.. him.

The blue haired girl rolled the wheel chair down the hallway, only glancing idly at the pictures of their 'family'. Though the only 'family' she considered was her brother, and even now, he's gone too. Not by choice. Not like her parents.

At first she considered them busy. And then after years and years _and years_ of hope, 'busy' turned into neglect. Eventually, neglect turned into heartlessness.

_Mr. and Mrs. Hamada of the Hamada Co.!_ _Wonderful_. Her parents left often, never really coming home. They were always attending some sort of party, _some_ social occasion, _some_ business meeting, _some_ kind of job.. and they didn't even spare her a second thought. Or even her brother, even when he left this world.

Sure, they spent a day or two mourning. They went through the whole funeral process but afterwards, they acted like he never existed. Only she. Only she stopped in front of the framed photos with a few hot tears rolling down her cheeks. Memories contained in dark wooden frames upon burgundy walls. Haunted by memories and the echoing thought that he will never come back. The only thing that stayed.. was the pain.

The pain never left. The pain will _never_ leave.

The ever so warm smile that was present on the seven year old boy's face in this picture, that smile will never return. HE will never return. And ever since then, she cursed the world. And most of all, she cursed herself.

Her eyes fell to her pathetic legs, a result of her accident. She hated what happened to her legs but more so, she hated what happened to him. It was her fault too. If she wasn't so careless, if she wasn't so STUPID- He'd be here.

He'd be here and he would have continued to be her warmth. Her support, her family. He would have continued to care for her, the only person that truly does. The person that stood by her side, the one that cheered her on and praised her for a good job. The person that would have watched her at swimming practice and handed her a fluffy towel after she got up to endure the freezing cold. Like always.

But no. Because 'always' was broken, and 'always' wasn't so always because 'always' turned into 'not anymore'. That person was no longer here. And sometimes, she wished she joined him.

She wheeled herself out to the backyard, the cold breeze sent a shiver down her spine. But she didn't care.

She stared into the mass of blue, light blue water that reflected the sky above. Tainted by the familiar tealish blue color and inviting scent of chlorine. She came closer to the edge, staring down at her own pathetic reflection.

Light blue hair, and cold blue eyes that accompanied it- the nine year old girl stared back at her. Pathetic, hateful.

She let the shawl fall from her, flying back into the distance. And with a heave, she let herself fall face forward to the water.

_SPLASH. _

The water was familiar. Though it was cold, freezing,_ stinging_. The water was welcoming, accepting, but it was harsh. It fought her, it suffocated her. It was alive. And it wanted her to drown. But somewhere along the line, she supposed she was used to it. Before, she could fight it back. She would rip through it and she would _swim_.

This time, she was _drowning_. And she let it drown her.

Let her tears dissipate into the water, let it become one with it. Let her screams and agonizing cries turn into mere bubbles as if she were only trying to breathe.

* * *

Everything was hazy. Everything was how she preferred it to be. Muffled voices. Thoughts blurred.

"Bluebell! Bluebell- Damnit, child."

"You stupid girl, what do you think you're doing?"_ Trying to drown. Leave me be. _

"Not again. Agh- my gloves are getting wet!" J_ust let me drown then. Spare your precious gloves._

"We're going to be late, dear. Call the caretaker. We don't have time for another one of her silly episodes." _Silly_. If she wasn't choking on water, she'd have scoffed.

"Isn't the new counselor coming today?" _Why? What's the point?_

* * *

**_..._**

"Ah, on time." _Father's voice_.

"Welcome, you must be Byakuran." _Mother's. _

"Hm? A pleasure to meet you." ..._Who?_

She groaned, stirring. Her vision was unfocused as her eyes opened to the ceiling above. The sight of a familiar white ceiling and lavender walls made her frown.

"You're much younger than we assumed."

"Ah but my credentials are all that matters." She turned to the new voice. A teen with white hair and lavender eyes. Slightly tall, lean, skinny.

Slowly, his attention shifted over to her and he smiled. "Ah, and you must be Bluebell-chan."

She parted her lips, looking from him to her parents. Mother's short light blue curled hair, blue eyes. Pearl earrings and some fancy clothes. Father had slick black hair, blue eyes. Some more fancy clothes and apparently today he sported a silk, probably high quality gold tie that matched mother's dress.

They muttered things to each other before leaving, not a single word to her. No _'I'll be home_' because they wouldn't be, not even a '_I'll be back_'. No, never. Not really, anyways. There were only a few things they ever said to her. '_You better behave_' was a common one. '_Eat all your food_' was the other. _'You're excused_' was heard a lot too. '_Keep up your grades_' was also something. '_Don't embarrass us_' was another line, one she didn't like to hear at all. But never a '_how are you_' or any form of appraisal or words of love. Never.

"Who are you?" she croaked slightly before clearing her throat.

"I'm Byakuran."

She frowned before turning away from him, pulling the blanket higher up over her shoulders. "Go away. I don't need another counseling psychologist." Her parents tried counselor after counselor but she refused to speak or even go to physical therapy. Her thoughts, her suffering, will be her burden. Her legs, her mistake, will be her punishment.

She heard a faint chuckle from behind her. "My, aren't you a young thing to have experienced a load."

Bluebell didn't answer. Sure, she was only nine. But nine years taught her well and the books she read only accompanied what she experienced. The world was cruel, she knew. And that was all that mattered.

Plus, those visions- No, perhaps those memories, served her purposefully. She had come to terms with the fact that it was her past life. And even then, it wasn't a good life.

Bluebell felt the other side of the bed cave in and whirled around to find him sitting on it. "Hey-"

He chuckled again. "Why don't you talk to me, Bluebell-chan? I'm sure you'll feel better."

She scanned him. Too young of a face, surely no older than a high schooler. "You're like what, fifteen? What do you know?" she frowned.

There was something different about his expression when he smirked. "I know a lot, Bluebell. Trust me. Plus, I'm what they call a... child prodigy. Though Bluebell, you should slightly understand."

Her blue eyes narrowed but she didn't reply. She'd be damned if her past self didn't at least know elementary or even middle school math and other subjects.

"Would you like to go outside for air?"

"No."

The teen hummed from behind her. "How about we play a game then?"

"No. I want to be left alone."

* * *

She was.. a bit different than other people, she knew that. She had always been more mature for her age, way more mature. She was only nine yet she knew she had the mind of a teen at least around fifteen. Though she could kind of figure out why. It must be those dreams, those visions, those _memories_.

Underlying all of those dreams, visions, and memories were _knowledge_. She had knowledge, stored from someone she expected to be in her past life. In fact, she believed that she might have been American in her past life, that would make the most sense. She could read high school or higher level (English) books and she knew the basics up to most middle school level courses.

But like what she expected to be 'normal', she couldn't remember and understand _everything_. And like everyone else, she had her weaknesses just as much as she had her strengths. History was okay, she was sure she learned more American history than Japan's. Mathematics and English she excelled it. She wasn't so great at Science but it was doable if she studied. Japanese was a bit harder due to her realization and she wasn't the best at memorizing the more uncommon kanji. Sometimes she thinks she might have been Japanese American but like most people, she wasn't too in touch with her native language as much as she used English. Therefore reading was a bit slower and writing was even more difficult.

Anyways.. the most her parents found her was _strange_, abnormal. They bragged about it for awhile but then when she started speaking and acting mature, they gave her this look as if she didn't' belong. But then again, when did they ever give her a look as if she _did_ belong? She was like a rare prize that no one ever got, warranted they brag about it, but in the end she was a strange prize. And they didn't truly care about the prize, only the value.

* * *

**[ Days Later. ]**

Bluebell eyed him as he placed marshmallow after marshmallow into his mouth and she was idly wondering if he ever heard of the 'chubby bunny' game her friends used to play in her past life.

"Have you ever, uh… played this game with marshmallows?" she asked as she set the mug of hot chocolate down on the glass table with a small clink noise. She was cynical but she wasn't _that_ rude. Sometimes she wasn't in the mood but today she didn't feel so bad. So today she didn't mind making conversation. It's not like she was telling him her life story or her feelings.

He raised an eyebrow as he continued to squish a marshmallow in between his thumb and index finger. "What kind of game?"

"It's like a competition between people to see how many marshmallows you can inside your mouth, taking turns," she explained.

Byakuran hummed for a moment, an amused expression his face. "I see. Then, do you want to show me?" he grinned before eating another marshmallow. How could he eat so many, she wondered. It seemed so _sweet_.

She watched him, scanned him. Unsure if she should get close to the man, to trust him. If she were to grow attached.. if he were to leave her too, she wasn't sure what she'd do.

...Then there was something creepy about him. Byakuran got up (gracefully, she might add). He walked over to her side and plopped himself down beside her on the cream leather couch with his bag of marshmallows and set it on her lap.

...It was like he knew what she was thinking sometimes. And she didn't like that, not at all. It made her uncomfortable. There was something about those lavender eyes of his that seemed to be able to see and reach down to the deepest parts of her soul.

Not to mention, he was so close. Though she was nine and he was like seventeen. Surely that didn't mean anything to _him_. But to her and her more mature mind, close proximity was making her- rather, her heart, a bit suffocated.

"Um-"

"Why don't you start?" he smiled encouragingly.

Bluebell supposed a game couldn't _hurt._ It didn't _mean_ anything. She wasn't letting him into her life just by playing a game. She wasn't trusting him or opening up to him.

"The marshmallows didn't do anything wrong, you know. You don't have to glare at it," he chuckled. Bluebell's eyes widened. She didn't _know_ she was glaring at anything.

"Uh, okay," she muttered before picking up one soft cylinder like marshmallow. She placed it in her mouth, tasting the all too sweet of it before stuffing it to the side. "You go," she mumbled in a funny way because of the marshmallow.

He hummed with an amused expression before doing the same. Bluebell picked up another one and repeated the action. Then.. suddenly something dawned on her. "Dwis is totahllwy unfwair" which in other words is: 'this is totally unfair'. She's pretty sure he has a bigger mouth than her. She was young too. Though she's not too sure if mouths grew. _They do, right?_

"Is it?" He chuckled before placing another one in.

**...**

..Okay. She kind of choked and died at four. More like three and a half because the rest of the fourth one killed her. Bluebell isn't entirely too sure how he's fitting seven but she's too busy coughing to question him.

"That's an interesting game," he said afterwards. "Want to play again?"

"NO!"

He laughed as he continued eating more marshmallows and she's thinking that she wouldn't like to eat another one in a _very_ long time. _Ugh_.

"So, would like to start physical therapy then?"

_Of course. _She didn't even know she was in a good mood until it was ruined. "No."

And she shut him out again.

* * *

**[ ... ]**

But he kept coming back. Despite all the times she told him she refused to do what his job required him to do, he still kept coming back. Everyday. And everyday at two o'clock in the afternoon, she found herself glancing at the clock before staring down the front door.

Surely it was because she dreaded him coming, not looking forward to it. At least that's what she told herself to think.

Although Bluebell couldn't entirely deny the fact that his presence lightened up her dark and cold house like rays of sunshine. His presence was warm, inviting, welcoming. If she didn't hate herself to think it, she would perhaps realize that Byakuran's presence felt like her brother's. One that she loved and now missed all too much.

The click of the door made her jump, even then she still found it weird how he had a key to her home and that parents didn't mind. They trusted him too much and she found it entirely dangerous that he had such a power: to have people trust him easily.

Bluebell unconsciously straightened her back and brushed down her long skirt, quickly fixing the two little ponytails on her blue hair. ...What was she doing? What a ridiculous nine year old she must have looked like. But then again.. what a ridiculous nine year old she was.

"Ah, hello Bluebell-chan. Were you waiting for me?" he grinned with a playful tone. A marshmallow bag was clutched in his arm, of course.

She frowned before clearing her throat and glancing away, making sure to glare at the wall ahead of her. "Of course not."

And days like this went on. Days where he tried to talk to her, days where she willed herself to not talk to him. She was scared, in all honesty. She was scared of getting close to him. Scared of giving him the power to break her.

It happened more than enough times for her to have learned her lesson in her past life, she remembered. And she won't put herself in the position for that kind of vulnerability again. At least, not easily.

* * *

**[ ... ]**

Today...Today was warm. A warm July day. Sunlight filtered through the windows and the white sheer curtains were pushed back to the side. The room was bathed in pure sunlight and perhaps the usual, nonliteral dark and cold feeling of the house was forgotten again.. like when her brother used to be around.

"Why don't you talk to me, Bluebell-chan? It'll make you feel better," he said as he wheeled her over to the living room.

The blue haired girl sighed. This wasn't the first time he asked her and she's sure it wouldn't be the last. She was starting to wonder if he genuinely cared, if he was doing his job, or if he was just curious.

"What for?" She frowned. 'Feeling better' won't bring her brother back and it won't right the wrongs of her mistake.

"I want to be your friend," he grinned.

"Why? Is that another fancy way of trying to actually do your job?"

Byakuran hummed and she almost decided to shut him out. He didn't know the answer- "It is my job but I could have left since you're one difficult patient," he joked but she didn't find it funny. "Though I didn't since, I _like_ you."

The words alone made her eyes widen and her face flush. "What-" Out of all _excuses_, she didn't expect _that_ one.

"You're a very cute little girl," he mused happily as he ruffled her hair. Something she could admit wasn't so bad.

"I don't make _friends_," she muttered. Her only 'friend' was her brother. Bluebell didn't trust people. No, people were not trustworthy. People lie and deceive, and then they leave. People that are close to you give you a warm sense of security and then when they walk out, they leave you shattered with the broken pieces of false hope. At least that's what she learned in her past life.

"Won't you make an exception for me?" he grinned, tone slightly playful. But she wasn't joking about this at all.

"I have a condition for friends," Bluebell ended up saying.

"Oh?" he mused. "What would that be?"

"That they won't leave me."

Byakuran's expression grew serious and she immediately regretted saying it. In fact, she was about to wheel herself away but then he spoke again. Although she was afraid to hear it, she wanted to know. "That's a reasonable request."

Does that mean it's possible? Does that mean that since he wanted to be her friend, he'll stay by her side?

He wasn't a bad person. And if it's him, she supposed she'd be okay with it. Him being her friend. Him being by her side.

"You won't leave me?" She asked, blue eyes glistening.

"Bluebell, you can't stay with a person _forever_." Of course she knew that. Bluebell also knew her brother never meant to leave her. It didn't change the fact that he was.._ gone_.

"So, you _can't_ promise me," her lips dipped into a frown and she glanced away, eyes slightly burning and threatening to spill tears. The lump in her throat was hard to swallow.

"You don't have to worry," Byakuran reached out a hand to brush the side of her cheek but she flinched away. He crouched down at the side of her wheelchair to the direction she was looking in but she turned the other way. She was being childish, Bluebell knew. But could you blame her? She technically still was a child.

Though when he grabbed her hand, her head whipped over to his direction. Staring, glaring.

"I will support you for as long as I can," he said with a gentle smile.

"And what happens when you won't anymore?!" Her tone grew with distress and even though Bluebell willed herself to yank away her hand, she couldn't get herself to do it.

His smile faded as he watched her with those reading eyes of his and Bluebell found herself glancing away, staring down a glass vase of flowers as if it did something wrong to her.

"I won't leave then," he spoke softly. She refused to look back. If she did, she'd cry for sure. "But I won't be by your side _all_ the time."

"What's the difference?" She bit back tears as she asked with a shaky weak voice.

"The difference is, you'll grow stronger without me but I'll be always be here for you when you need it." She heard a shuffle and the warmth of his hand left hers. For a second she was scared he was going to leave but he stayed. _He stayed_. Though she was still eyeing down the poor, unoffending vase.

Bluebell considered his words for a moment in silence, one that seemed to uncomfortably stretch on for awhile.

"But for now…?" Her voice only came out as a faint whisper, a bit afraid of his answer. As if he could actually _hear_ her, he'd change his mind.

"For _now_ I'll be by your side," he said as he ruffled her light blue hair, leaving it in a mess as he chuckled. Bluebell vaguely wondered if this was the beginning of a _very_ big mistake. What she wondered more was why she let herself fall, hoping he'll be there to catch her.

"You promise?" She looked up to Byakuran, blue eyes against lavender. Full of hope, and perhaps maybe admiration. Maybe something a bit more. "Pinky?" She gave a small smile as she held up her smallest finger and he grinned before hooking it with his.

"I promise."

* * *

_Thanks for reading!_  
_Drop a review if you have time, it'll be greatly appreciated. c:_


	2. Closure

**Uncharted Waters.**

* * *

**A/N:** Holy, sorry it took forever. I wasn't feeling inspired and I just really want to get to the part where she meets everyone else to be honest, so..that'll be soon (and less depressing, hopefully).  
Also working on like two-three other stories while entertaining my other story ideas so I apologize for the late update, I'm not sure how frequent my updates will be. So if you're bored, Same Difference and Engage Me are two stories I've been working on (ahem, shameless self promotion).

Anyways, you'll read a bit later in the first few paragraphs that she threw tantrums around Byakuran whenever her brother was mentioned. And later on, Byakuran offers to become her older brother, she finally moves on. Both of these concepts are not made up, but of her actual history.

Thanks to** IIBlueFoxBlazinII** (the first), **Platina1499**,** OceanRuins** (for conversing with me and helping me out a lot),** Gelasia Kidd**, and _two_ **guests** for reviewing! It was really helpful to have heard your opinions and I appreciate it. c:

And since I can't reply to you via PM:  
To Guest-san #1, thank you so much. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. c: I hope I'll continue to receive your support. And I really hate her parents, it's sad that I have to give her heartless parents. ;_;  
To Guest-san #2, Bluebell's past memories? Yeah, she will remember more. :o As for now, she doesn't really remember how she died. But she will. And also since all the funeral wreaths attained their memories from the future arc, she will too. :) All in time.

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

* * *

Bluebell hummed as she brushed through the dreadful tangles of her hair. Her light blue hair was long, down to her hip, and it normally took her ten minutes to brush all of it thoroughly.

But once she was done, she clipped two dark blue oval-like clips onto her hair. Two on the left side, one on the right. Her brother clipped them onto her once, a gift from him. And he happened to lose one. She laughed at him before because it seemed silly. Now it was something that she still did, something that she continued to do after the first time. Instead of a happy, warm smile that used to be reflected one in the mirror before her, the one that slightly curved her lips was a saddened one.

But she shook her head and brought up both her hands to slap each side of her cheeks lightly. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. As to make up for having her throw a tantrum (though it wasn't really his fault), Byakuran said he would take her anywhere she wanted to go today. It was because he mentioned… her brother. It had been the third time it happened and it had been a month since they met.

She couldn't help it. She knew she was being slightly immature and over-dramatic. But just the mentioning of her brother's name upsetted her. She didn't really mean to throw a horde of stuff animals at Byakuran that day and she didn't mean to roll away quickly to only slam the door in his face.

And it wasn't even his fault too. But he said it was and he said he'd make it up to her. She refused his blame but she accepted the offer.

Bluebell smiled before wheeling away from her vanity towards the longer mirror behind her door. Today she was dressed in a spring floral dress with a white cardigan. It was a tough decision and it took her thirty minutes to decide today. Bluebell was going out today, after all (she hasn't been attending school) and if anything… Well, it's not like she was dressed up for him. He just… he just happened to be going along.

**...**

"I want to go shopping today," she declared immediately once he entered the house. The lavender haired teen was dressed in a black hooded jacket, white shirt, and denim jeans with a lanyard hanging from it. Vaguely, Bluebell realized she liked the way he dressed.

He hummed with a smile as he closed the door behind him and approached the girl in the wheelchair, in the middle of the burgundy hall. "Sure," he replied. "Do you have a particular reason?"

"Does a girl really need a reason to shop?" She joked with a goofy smile.

"Hmmm?" He hummed in an amused tone. "Just please don't take two hours," he teased.

"One and a half?"

"One," he pouted.

"One and fifteen minutes and it'll be a deal."

"Okay, thirty minutes."

"Hey!" Bluebell puffed her cheeks, crossing her arms in front of her chest for effect.

Byakuran chuckled shortly before walking behind her, taking a hold of the handles on her wheel chair. "You have everything?"

"Yep," she answered, holding up her small cross-body purse to show him.

* * *

"Byakuran!" ...

"Byaaakuuran!" ...

"BYAKU-"

"Yes, yes," he chuckled at her amusement. She was hugging every plush possible and her interests only broadened the more she saw.

There was just so many! How could she just ever pick one and go home with it? What about the other ones? What if the stuffed animals had friends.. and she was separating them? No no no. She won't allow for that happen.

"Bluebell-chan.. are you buying all of that?" His tone and expression were equally amused. At times like this, she allowed her true inner child to take over.

"Yes," she answered with the utmost determination and steel resolve.

"That's seven of them," he blinked. In her arms and lap were a bunch of plushes. A small ram, a medium sized alpaca, some bears of sorts, and two cats.

"I can count, Byakuran!" She puffed her cheeks. "...I don't want of them to be lonely."

The teen hummed for a moment, taking what she said into account. "Then.. how about we make it eight? It'll be my gift to you," he smiled.

"Really?" Her eyes were probably sparkling. Afterall, she felt like sparkling. "You can't go back on your words, you know."

He laughed again before strolling down the aisle, scanning through the varied selections of the toy stores.

As she wheeled herself down the row behind him, she started singing a counting song she learned in elementary when she actually attended for fun. Pointing as she went along, she began to sing, "_Ip-piki, ni-hiki, san-biki no hamsuta.. yon-hiki, go-hiki, rop-piki no hamsuta.. nana-hiki, hap-piki, kyuu-hiki no hamusta.. Jup-piki no hamuuusttaaa_~"

Bluebell giggled as Byakuran clapped merrily. "That's very cute," he complimented.

"Of course~"

"Where'd you learn that from?"

"Elementary. It was an effective way to learn counters for small animals," she replied.

"Ahh, the _p, h,_ and _b_ used to always confuse me," he admitted.

"Right! I still don't know why they make it so complicated. In America, we don't-" But her rant stopped short as her eyes widened.

"'We'? Hehhh~ You've been to America?"

"Um. Yes. For vacation, once," she covered up quickly.

"I heard you are very fluent in English, Bluebell-chan."

"I was always interested in English," she muttered. It wasn't entirely a lie, it was partly true. Perhaps she should tell him. Perhaps he might believe her. Her brother did- but Byakuran was not her brother.

Byakuran gathered the stuff animals in her lap into his arms. "I'll go pay for this. But while I do, turn around until I come back," he instructed with a smile. She did as told without a question.

Bluebell could hear the retreating footsteps and for a second, she felt the panic rise within her. What if he meant to leave her- No. He was just paying for things. But she was scared. She was scared the moment- No. She really had to do something about her trust issues and her paranoia.

The blue haired girl took a breath before focusing on a kid with ice cream- the kid that had icecream, before he dropped it, just now. It was…...not enough to keep her distracted.

But she really, _really_ couldn't help it. How long has it been anyways? A minute, or two, _or five_\- And right when she was about to turn around, something fluffy was shoved into her face.

"Bluebell-chan, that's no good. I told you to turn around."

"Whatisthat?" She mumbled into the unknown fluffy object.

Byakuran chuckled before pulling it away and now she could see it for what it really was. A chubby, funny yet cute looking white unicorn- No, pegasus. The thing had wings.

"That's so cute!" She squealed before hugging it.

"Right~?" He sing songed with a smile. "It's your gift, from me."

Bluebell felt her smile curve into a wide grin before nodding happily, squeezing the plush even tighter. "Thanks!"

* * *

This time, she was allowed to keep her eyes on him as he walked over to the food court to get them something to snack on. And she kept her blue eyes on him, even in the midst of a crowded mall filled with laughing children and a wide range of conversations.

The light lavender haired male came back shortly after successfully dodging people with two of them, it looked like a soft, gigantic ice cream cone with ice cream and numerous toppings onto it. But it looked pretty, and it looked delicious.

"What's that?"

"A crepe. You've never had a crepe?" Byakuran raised an eyebrow.

She hummed. "No." Her eyes fell onto all the toppings. Marshmallows, strawberries, chocolate syrup. "That looks really...sweet."

"It's also really good," he added before taking a bite out of his, holding the other one out to her. The one Byakuran was offering her looked like a bear. The face was drawn on with chocolate syrup while two white chocolate chips made the ears on the vanilla ice cream.

"What's wrong?" He muttered.

"It's too cute to eat."

"Hehhh~" Well he seemed amused. "Just eat it, Bluebell-chan. I'll buy you another one again some day," he encouraged.

"Really?"

"Of course."

Bluebell had a hard time adjusting to the promises of other people. Promises of 'again'. Promises were sadly meant to be broken, she knew that saying. She also knew she was digging her own grave if she put too much dependence on Byakuran.

But she couldn't help but feel happy. And so with that happiness, she was probably damned. Now all Bluebell could do was hope and pray he'd never leave her.

Bluebell shook herself out of the thoughts. It was starting to make the ice cream taste bitter. And nothing should ruin this too-adorable-to-eat crepe. And this moment.

* * *

The afternoon rolled over and now the sky was starting to darken. She knew it was almost time where he would leave. But... "How about we watch-"

Her next words were interrupted by the ring tone of his state of the art phone. Ring tone..but it was this weird 'Ran, ran, ran, ran, ran, ran~ Byakuran~!' and a little chibi like hologram of his popped up happily after a bunch of smiling spheres collected together and bursted.

He gave her a smile before picking up the phone. "Ahh~ Today? Now? …..Why, hmmm? …..Ah, ma...I suppose. Mhm. Okay. Sure. …..Tell Tsunayoshi-kun, next month then. …..Yeah. I'll see you soon."

"Are you leaving already?" Without her consent, a pout was formed upon her lips.

"I have some things to take care of," he answered with an apologetic smile before placing a hand on her head. "But we'll play tomorrow."

She nodded slowly in forced understanding but she couldn't help but feel disappointed. It wasn't like she picked out a movie for them to watch or something. Not like she was excited or anything. And especially not like she waited to watch it with him despite how much she wanted to see it already.

"I can stay."

"Really?" Her voice was too high, too excited of a tone and it made her embarrassed. She cleared her throat. "Are you… Are you sure?"

"Yep," he smiled before scrolling through his phone. "It can wait, just let me text someone."

When he was done, he gently helped her onto the cream leather couch and gracefully sat down next to her.

**...**

Bluebell wondered if he knew. If he knew that these little things meant a lot to her. Pushing aside a plan for her, or even spending time with her. Making promises with her, keeping them for her, and fulfilling them. She wondered if he knew it meant more than something dramatic. Little things like this were enough.

Though her wistful, positive thoughts never lasted long. They dissipate and they morph into something ugly, something beyond her control. And suddenly she found herself wondering, questioning. Just how long. How long will this last? How much longer?

This warm, enticing feeling of having someone by her side. Someone that cares, someone that seemed to like her company. Someone that claimed to remain by her side, someone promising to help her, support her. How much more? How much longer? Till when? Till what happens?

"It's a happy movie, Bluebell-chan," he muttered gently, though his eyes were questioning.

She wiped away the little tears quickly with the sleeves of her cardigan. "I teared up from yawning, sorry," she gave a grin before returning her attention to the plasma television screen, letting the movie humor her. Letting it whisk her away from her depressing thoughts, letting her escape herself for a time being.

Byakuran hummed as his lavender eyes grew slightly serious but he didn't say anymore, and she knew at times like this he let her win. For lack of trouble or for her sake- she did not know. But right now, she didn't really care. Bluebell curled up to his side and leaned her head onto his arm, too short for his shoulder. Her thoughts could wait, for moments like these, unfortunately don't last forever.

* * *

As the door shut away his retreating back, the air around her felt cold again. The house suddenly seemed darker and so did her mood, never had she realized more that the dark wall colors were ever so fitting.

Silently, she prayed he'll be back tomorrow.

"Dinner, Bluebell. Or don't eat," her mother spoke from the dining room. Oh how the temptation to starve just to spite her mother was strong. Though Bluebell wouldn't necessarily be in spite of someone, since that person didn't care.

But she shouldn't skip dinner. If she skipped dinner, she wouldn't have enough energy to enjoy the day with Byakuran. And that, for that reason, she supposed dinner shouldn't be too bad and she wheeled herself into the dining room.

Before she did anyways. Sometimes she would begrudgingly skip dinner and the caretaker would have had to try and coax her out of her stubbornness.

Sometimes she liked the pangs of hunger, it was distracting. It made her even more miserable but once in awhile, she would lose her train of thought and that was one she rather it outrun her.

Especially now. Now the rectangular, black dinner table was even more unbearable. From a silent table of four was now a silent table of three and his absence weighed down on her like an increase in gravity.

Now beside her was an empty black chair. The food was harder to swallow and even if she forced herself to eat some of it, it either tasted bitter or left a bad aftertaste.

Vaguely, Bluebell wished Byakuran would be able to sit beside her and eat dinner with her. Though she was a bit shocked even at herself that for once she wasn't wishing for her brother's return. Instead, she wanted someone else.

For once, she was ashamed for a different reason. This time, she wasn't ashamed and she didn't hate herself because she deemed herself to be the reason he wasn't here. Instead.. Was it possible, was it even human of her to… in a way, hoped for a replacement? Is that what this desire was?

No. She- Her brother- He.. She would never want that. If she could have him back- But she can't.

"Bluebell. What did I say about playing with your food?" Her thoughts were interrupted, almost thankfully, as she looked up to her father which had just spoken. There was a scowl on his face as his eyes flitted down to her fork. The girl wasn't even aware that she had been rolling the peas around with her silver utensil.

"Honestly, child. That's distasteful," her mother pitched in as the woman shook her head to prove her point, tone full of disapproval. Her mother dabbed her mouth lightly with a napkin, eyes closed and eyebrows slightly furrowed.

Bluebell only looked down and continued eating slowly. She didn't reply. She never really did. The last phrase she said to them was the day after_ 'that'_. And it was the words:_ "You're lying."_ Followed after the words: _"Where is he?"_

But before '_that'_. Before the words and the answers she wished she never received, it was long...so long ago that she couldn't remember a time before '_that_' really. Well, she supposed she said a few things here and there to her parents. But they were always arguments, refusals. Sometimes an _"I don't want to go"_ or _"I refuse"_ was spoken when they wanted to bring her to a gathering. Only to brag, like usual.

But now there was nothing to brag about. Instead of showing her off, they were trying to keep her shut. Keep her away, keep her hidden. Because instead of their show worthy prize, she was now a broken prize. And since they couldn't mend her, they rather she be kept hidden in a closet.

Dinner was finished in another painful ten minutes and the caretaker was already bustling around to clean up.

"Make sure you continue your self study, it's your only condition for not going to school," her father stated before getting up from his seat. No 'goodnight' was given, but of course not.

* * *

The thing about her knowledge.. was that it wasn't like her 'memories'. She wasn't really sure who she was in her past life. She wasn't sure if she was a female even. Wasn't sure of her name and wasn't sure of her family. All she obtained from her past life were the visions that she seldom received, triggered by time or something she never figured out.

However, her knowledge came naturally. Almost to the point where she wouldn't have been entirely sure if she was truly a child genius in this world or if it came from her past self. Though some material seemed familiar as if she learned or done it before. And when she tried learning unfamiliar things, it got a bit harder to study.

Her knowledge was like committing a piano song to memory. It was like playing it so much that you knew what you were playing, but when you stopped to think about what note to play after, you stumble and you forget. Her knowledge was like a dream you had of other people. It was like knowing who was in your dream, but if you try to imagine their face or really think about, everything gets hazy- and everything gets confusing.

Bluebell sighed exasperatedly before closing the Algebra textbook in her lap. As disrespectful as it was, and actually since she didn''t really care, sometimes she wished she could throw the textbook in her parents' faces.

What was the point? She wasn't doing this for her. She didn't care for school and education. They only push her to pursue her studies because they wanted something worthy to brag for.

Bluebell only ever did it for _him_, really. She wanted her brother to praise her, to be proud of her. She wanted to go home with a good test score so he would pat her on the head and tell her 'good job'. And he would anyways, even without the test scores. But it made her feel better.

She wanted to study with him, to study on his level since he was older than her. She wanted to…. She wanted to-

She whimpered and her lip quivered as she pulled the light blue jacket closer to her. His jacket, his favorite and the one she kept by her bedside all the time. It no longer smelled like him, she held onto it way too much. It smelled more like her than it did him. Just another wonderful reminder that was he gone, slowly fading away completely.

But she refused. Bluebell held him in her heart and her mind. Perhaps even her soul and sometimes in her dreams.

Her shoulders shook as she sank into the white polka dotted yellow blankets of her bed, wanting nothing more than to be enveloped in darkness once she turned off the lights. Silently, she sobbed into his jacket in which was probably why it didn't smell like him. And silently, sobbing, she fell asleep.

* * *

**[ ~ One Week Later. ]**

It was one of those days where even Byakuran, as bright as he was, could not lift her spirits easily.

Today was the day where her parents had this annual ball they would attend and her brother told her once that they should have one too. The two of them would dress up and clumsily, jokingly waltz to the music in the library, coming from a record player their parents kept. They would waltz every year, their parents annual thing became their own little one.

But today, her brother was not here. And she had no one to waltz with.

"I don't think I'm supposed to be in this world. I'm a mistake." She was taking out her depression on anything, really.

At first she was hoping her misery would drive him home. Him and his slightly loose white Henley shirt and black jeans that also looked nice on him. He was staying later today because her parents were out longer. In fact, they probably wouldn't come home. And she wasn't particularly sure if she truly wanted him to leave.

"You shouldn't call yourself that, Bluebell-chan," Byakuran frowned.

"No, really. Mother had me with some guy, an affair. My brother on the other hand was a product of his affair with some woman. Mother and father's children were miscarriages, they tried twice." Her tone was bitter.

"That doesn't mean you're a mistake."

"I am to them. Somewhere in the midst of all that scandal, they decided to neglect the both of us," Bluebell looked down at her tiny hands that were folded in her lap over the fabric of her white dress.

"Bluebell-chan, let me tell you something really helpful. You see, sometimes water is thicker than blood."

She frowned. "I don't think-"

"As in, sometimes the people you choose to live alongside with can be closer than people you're related to by blood. They can be your family instead."

"There is no one like that," she said.

All of a sudden, he grabbed her small hand in his. Her eyes widened and she felt her face heating up as he gently guided it to his lips. "Let's start here. I'll be your brother. Will you allow me to, Bluebell?"

Brother? But she had a brother- Had... She glanced away quickly, unable to look into those lavender eyes that gleamed with something she didn't quite understand. It was different. It wasn't like the look in her parents' eyes.

"W-Wh-What kind of brother does this?!" she complained as she yanked her hand away, feeling more embarrassed than nothing. Her eyes flitted back to his face, a gentle smile. She supposed he understood what she meant by that.

Bluebell sat up slowly, letting go of the jacket she was clutching ever so tightly. One that she supposed she might have held onto forever if it weren't for Byakuran.

"Come, Bluebell. Don't you want to swim again? Or to even take walks on the beach together?" He smiled gently as he extended his hand. Bluebell knew the whole 'physical therapy' issue was lingering in the air, which was what he was going for.

She wasn't sure why. If it was for the walks, if it was for the beach. If it was for a waltz, or if it was for a purpose she has yet to known. If it was her, or if it was for him. Or even perhaps, if for her brother.

_Forgive me, onii-chan._

But slowly, her hand reached out and she placed it on his, warm and firm as he closed his larger one around hers.

"Actually, I'd like a waltz."

"A waltz?"

"On this day, my brother and I would waltz. Every year," she said with a saddened smile. "And now...You'll be my brother?"

And this time, she didn't need to ask him to promise.

He left only temporarily to start up the music on the record player before coming back to stand in front of her, bowing with a hand outreached.

And she took it again. For she was sure there will no longer be a time where she wouldn't. And even if his hand wasn't extended to her, she'd still reach for him. From now on.

Byakuran gently pulled her up towards him, allowing her to step on his feet. Swaying and laughing, under the chandelier that she always found unnecessary and too fancy, which now seemed beautiful. Glistening and sparkling. And the backdrop of a wide window, olive curtains pulled back to reveal a beautiful shade of navy blue sky, twinkling stars, and a golden yellow moon.

And in the midst of the music and the laughter of an awkward dance for they were of very unequal heights.. the smiles and the rapid heartbeats in her ears, she could barely hear the words that escaped his lips. Even if she didn't hear it, she didn't have to.

"I'll be your brother," he promised. "And I'll stay by your side."

* * *

_I hope you liked the chapter. :) _

_If there's something you like (or even don't like),_  
_leave a review! _


	3. Savior

**Uncharted Waters.**

**A/N:** I'm so sorry this took me two months to upload and it's not that lengthy. This is more of a transition chapter than anything, you will be able to tell by the last section. But I am now moving onto the main plot in my opinion so next chapter shouldn't take too long. Hopefully then there will be more characters and Byakuran would gain much more of his canon personalities. c:

**Reviewer Replies:**  
**OceanRuins:** Thank you so much! I know you've been waiting for this story to be updated, but I appreciate you reading my other ones and sometimes asking about this one / not forgetting about it even though it's been awhile. c: I hope you enjoy this chapter too. :)  
**IIBlueFoxBlazinII****:** Sorry about the feels LOL. I'll try balancing it out but it's pretty emotion heavy in the first few chapters. ;_; Im sorry. I can only offer a virtual hug.  
**Aliathe**: Thank you! I'm so glad that you appreciate the descriptions and that you found it cute! I'd like Byakuran x Bluebell but she's pretty young. I suppose it's just one side and yeah, her whole shameless adoration HAHA. (I will work on portraying my Byakuran as well as you portray yours! c: )  
**Autore Raita**: *hands you a tissue* c: Thank you! I'm so very happy to hear that it's the most touching thing that you've read. ^_^ I hope I won't disappoint!  
**Failing Wings**: Well for her future memories, I guess you'll find out very soon! :)  
**Cercueil Noir**: Awwww, I'm glad that you found it to be touching and enough to tear up. :o It's definitely a potential pairing but not quite. c: It's more one sided or at least that's what I'm trying to portray. It makes me happy to know that you enjoy their relationship. You're welcome, and thank YOU. :D

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

* * *

'Byakuran promises to take me out to get crepes again' was scrawled on one small and thin piece of paper. Another one read 'Byakuran promises to be by my side, and be my brother'.

With her tiny fingers, the girl rolled it up delicately before tying it with a small string. Then dropped the two mini scrolls into the was-empty glass bottle before capping it with a cork.

She smiled to herself as she tipped the bottle, letting the scrolls roll around. Sure, it might seem silly and perhaps very unnecessary but.. She felt like it would it be real if she didn't write it down on paper. It truly felt like a dream anyways.

One that her hurt and cynical mind found difficult to process.

Her eyes flitted to the clock. Physical therapy session was going to start soon. It.. pained her but she deemed it to be worth it. Plus Byakuran's encouraging words and gentle smiles were enough to get her through the process.

Though sometimes, not going to lie, she felt enough frustration to go back into her habit of throwing herself into the pool- _unable to swim_.

But when she did, she thought about how great it would be to truly swim again. So she would stand up and she would take small steps, small and small until she made more distance. And she will. She will, and she will be able to catch up to him.

* * *

The afternoon started with physical therapy.

Bluebell tightly gripped the bar to each of her side and took a step forward. She winced at the slight pain but it wasn't as terrible as the first, the time when she felt like a shock bolted up her leg and to her entire body with pain. She had teared up then.

The patient would be lying if she said that the first step she took kept her going. The first step she took made her want to sit back on her wheelchair and never have to stand up again.

"A good start, Bluebell-chan," Byakuran's gentle voice was by her side as per session. She gave him a small weary smile and took her next, wincing yet again.

"When will it stop hurting?" she muttered shakily, gripping the bar even tighter.

His light eyebrows knit in sympathy and his smile showed kindness. "Soon," he answered.

Like usual, after some steps, he would give her some short encouragement. He would reassure her that she was doing a good job. Bluebell knew those things shouldn't really amount to much, but to her it did.

It made it better, this pain. The hard work.

The reflections in the surrounding mirrors, walls and walls of mirrors, showed a million him and a million her. It was too bad that she wasn't much closer to any of those reflections. Still a distance away. Close, but not close enough. Not when she wanted to by his side.

She idly wondered how much of this is for her.. and how much this was for him.

The nights after, she fell asleep quickly, knowing that she tried her best in the afternoons. Tired, a little satisfied, and definitely improving. Step by step.

The exhaustion put her right to sleep and she didn't toss and turn as often as she did before. Except some nights after. When the torments of her past took over yet again.

* * *

_Screaming, too much screaming. There was shattering, glass probably. Break. Clank. Yelling._

_A little girl clung onto my leg, shaking in fear. "I'm scared.."_

_"Hush, it's okay. They're just arguing, it'll be over soon," I reassured her in a whisper._

_The vision in front of me shakes and the faces of my parents darkened. Their words were slurred but I made out some of it._

_"I demand a divorce!"_

_"Oh you demand one? I've been wanting one for ages!"_

_"You're a fucking gold digger."_

_"As if there is anything to dig from you-"_

_A loud slap resounded and mother's head jerked to the side, her hand darted up to her cheek as she scoffed with cruel feigned amusement._

_"Dani," my little sister muttered before backing up. "Mother is.."_

_My fists clenched as it shook. I was unsure what to do._

_"Is that all you can do? Resort to violence?" Mother smirked but her eyes shown with outrage._

_"Don't challenge me, woman," father sneered as he gripped her collar, raising up a hand._

_"STOP!" I yelled, darting out before I could think. "What kind of father are you?!"_

_"Get back," mother hissed. "GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!"_

_"A useless mother raises equally useless children, huh?" His narrowed eyes turned onto me now and I froze, unable to take the next action. He bellowed like a mad man before pushing mother away. She clutched the counter with a tightening grip, her eyes fierce._

_"If you.. If you don't stop this, I'll call the police," I threatened as my hand snaked back to reach for my cellphone. "Don't-"_

_**Slap.**_

_I stumbled back a step but I couldn't dodge his backhand. I stared wide eyed at him, unable to really hear what mother was yelling. My mind was hazy and so was my vision._

_The phone dropped to the ground and I heard a loud crunch, snap. "You disrespectful little brat," he spat before slapping me another time. Or was it a punch?_

_"STOP IT!" Mother's loud voice grew desperate. I heard a click but when I looked up, it was too late. "What do you think you're doing-" Gu-_

_**Bang.**_

_I froze at several noises._

_A scream, or two, or many including my own. Loud, shrieking. A thud, mother's body and hand dropped against the wooden tiles, stained with red blood._

_And a gunshot._

* * *

_**..!**_

She gasped, jolting upwards as her hands clutched the blanket in front of her. Mother..

The gunshot. It rang in her ears even as she woke. The girl shuddered before covering her ears. The worst.. This was one of the w-

'_MOTHER_!'

But over, and over again, the screams echoed throughout the walls of her mind. _Please.. stop.. Stop, please… Quiet… _

'_Mother! Mother please! Mother'_

She whimpered and shook, hugging her knees and burying her head into them. Please..

'_Do you want to die too, you wretched child?! HUH?!' _

_Stop.. _

_I don't.. I don't want to hear anymore.. _

Her breathing grew heavy as she swam into the darkness of her imagination, watching the woman die again and again. As her body dropped, as her eyes dimmed. As the little girl screamed and cried. As the man wildly laughed and pointed the gun at them, threatening over and over.

No.. No, please no.

The room swam in and out of focus, her vision blurred even when it just readjusted to the darkness. The phone.. her hand darted out to t her bedside, slightly blinded by the screen's brightness-

' _Please don't leave me. Don't leave us alone, mother-_ '

_Please… I don't want to be alone, I… _

Too many voices. She couldn't even tell who was begging/crying/_sobbing_/**yellingscreamingshrieking**. If it was _her_, or her from _before_.

'_I should kill you.. I should kill all of you-' _**STOP**_-_

"Bluebell-chan?" …_**!**_

Her breath was labored and she fought to take deep breaths, a hand over her frantic beating heart. She let out a whimper as she bit her lip, figure slumping. "Byakuran..!"

A yawn was heard from the other end of the phone. "What's the matter, Bluebell-chan? It's 4AM in the morning.. Are you okay? You sound.."

Four in the morning? The time didn't even occur to her, calling him didn't even occur to her. It just happened. "I.." Her voice came out shaky, afraid. "I had a.. a nightmare," she sniffled. A nightmare was one way to put it. But she knew.. She knew it wasn't.

"A nightmare?" His voice sounded tired, but of course, she had just woken him up.

"I'm scared," she muttered quietly. Bluebell's more considerate side told her that she should let him go back to sleep. But she was afraid of being left alone to her thoughts, being left to those voices- those nightmarish memories.

If only.. If only she could run to her brother's room and climb under his blankets. If only he could put his arm around her reassuringly and hush her cries until she fell asleep. Like before.. But 'before' was gone.

"Bluebell," he spoke quietly like a comforting stroke of tone. But it was Byakuran. It was Byakuran that dispelled the cold wave of fears like warm sunrays.

"Are you going back to sleep?" The tone of disappointment was much louder than her voice.

"No. Not until you fall back asleep." She could almost hear the gentle smile in his voice. She wanted to see him…

Bluebell shifted so that she laid on her side with her phone pressed between her ear and the pillow. "I'm sorry.."

"Mmm? Don't be," the teen chuckled faintly. "Hm… Shall I tell you a story?"

"A story?" She repeated questioningly. "Don't treat me like a child," she joked and puffed her cheeks though he couldn't see.

"Eh? Aren't you a child?" he teased. A 'hmph' escaped her.

"I'm.. I'm going to make sure I never fall back asleep just so you can't."

"Eh?!" He pretended to sound afraid. "Then.. I'll tell you a really good story."

She felt the corners of her lips twitch upwards into a smile. "Fine. But it better be really good."

He chuckled from the other side and she imagined what the way his eyes closed happily. "Then.. Once upon a time there was a princess named Bluebell."

A smile cracked onto her lips. "Are you my prince?"

"Mmmmm… Well, I was thinking knight."

"Ah, that's fine too. I don't quite need a prince."

"You don't," he reassured. She wasn't too sure why his words felt like a pat on the head, a stroke of her hair.

Then the story started to unfold, with no doubt that Byakuran had made it up on the spot. But oh well, it was interesting in that sense and entertaining to hear what he came up with. Apparently it was a strong, beautiful princess that rose up to her fears in order to protect the kingdom, along with her trusty knight.

Then, something about.. a mountain.. fire.. and a...dragon..?

The words started to seem dull in her ear, voice quieting down.

She fell to sleep somewhere at the line of 'I will protect you with my life, princess', with a peaceful smile on her face.

* * *

In the morning over a warm cup of hot chocolate, she had decided to tell Byakuran the truth. The teenager came in with a yawn and hair that seemed more disheveled than usual. She suspected that it was due to the late night call, one that let her rested sound asleep.

And in the afternoon, between an open tin of cookies and milk tea in fragile teacups, she explained all that she could. She roped in a few examples here and there so that he might understood.

About the random recollections of memory, since she was born. About how her knowledge came steadily and stayed. About how unsure she was. About how scared she was. About how no one understood. About how suffocating it is, how unfair-

It was a long and hard explanation. No matter how many times it was rehearsed in her head, Bluebell still found herself stumbling and the words became jumbled. Sometimes she had to swallow a lump in her throat to continue through.

When she finished, her mouth felt dry. Her palms were not though, having been sweaty due to nervousness. Her fingers twiddled on her lap, during and after her words fell silent. _Would he believe her.. would he not? Would he leave.. would he not? _

She never told anyone, not even her brother. But now.. now that she told Byakuran. Would she regret it..?

"Hmmm…?"

She stiffened at every next second after the silence fell. He probably thought she was a delusional child. A crazy person, not knowing what she was doing.. but instead wasting his time.. with nonsense, and stupidity.

Bluebell watched as his eyes grew serious, more intent. What was going on..in his mind? What was he thinking? Washethinkingthatshe-

"I see."

He didn't believe her.

Of course. That was to be expected. Nothing new there. The mental laugh that resounded in her head was bitter and dry. Oh, Bluebell, you dolt. Now you've done it. The only person that was going to stay by your side and you went and completely ruined it. It was no wonder that no one really cared about you, you're stupid and-

The gaze shifted to the hands in her lap as her head hung low in disappointment, light blue hair cascading down the sides of her face. No.. Byakuran wasn't like that. But.. But..! What if he leaves? What if he thinks she's-

"Then..shall I help you?"

What? The girl lifted her head up slowly, eyes filled with disbelief. "What do you mean?" The words barely came above a whisper.

"I can seal away that problem for you." Seal?

Idly, she found herself being hypocritical for not being able to believe him. Rather, she was more confused than anything. "How..?"

Byakuran hummed with the same usual expression, a smirk that seemed to hide many secrets. "I have..my ways."

Her mouth opened, but closed again. Unsure what to say. Unsure if he was joking or.. teasing her or.. Maybe it was to get back at her for telling him something so out of the ordinary.

"Do you trust me?"

"I…" If this was a joke, he would surely get a good laugh out of it. But… This person, that always held a hand out to her ever since she met him.. Would she ever really deny it? When it was so warm, so helpful, so- … "Yes."

Byakuran rose in a fluid, smooth motion before going around the table to sit by her side. He faced her with a gentle smile. "You trust me," it sounded more like a statement than a question.

"I trust you," Bluebell repeated with sound resolution.

"You will remember more when the time is right. When it isn't too much for you to handle."

She would like to object and say she could handle it- but that wasn't very much true. It was only the same ounce of her pride for being much older than she actually is _this_ world, but.. what would that really solve? The answer was nothing.

The girl wondered if it was just a silly little 'spell'. As if the teenager was just treating her like a child, tricking her with her own power of belief-

He slowly nodded once. "Then, close your eyes."

The vision of his kind lavender eyes, his light disheveled hair turned to darkness. She kept silent, surrounded by little flickers of random spots of color behind her lids. Bluebell fidgeted slightly, feeling rather uncomfortable that she couldn't see what was coming. One..two...three.. The girl started to count away the seconds of darkness, of nothingness.

Then, as if she could barely feel it, there was a slight warmth near her forehead. If she opened her eyes, she was sure she would be able to see a warm glow. But Byakuran told her to keep her eyes closed, so she will do just that.

The next feeling was a light touch between her brows. A small tap, a brush of a finger- two fingers? It was all soft and- …._**!**_

"OUCH," she hissed with a sharp intake of breath. Her head was thrown back slightly, a jolt to her brain was what the feeling seemed like. It was like a cutting, sharp, quick headache. A small electricity like feeling.

Her eyes fluttered open quickly, focusing on the sight of his sympathetic expression. "Sorry, Bluebell-chan. Sometimes the best cures hurt."

"What did you do?" She whispered, a bit afraid.

"Nothing too major, just sealed away any oncoming memories from the past."

"...How?" She pondered over the possibilities, if she would be able to believe him. But he is Byakuran. And Byakuran seemed capable of many things.. There were secrets hidden in those eyes and she never really doubted his knowledge. Her own memories were an abnormality, so she acknowledge the chances of other abnormalities.

"I will explain to you when the time is right for that too."

"But-!"

His hand brought down gently to pat her head. Once, twice.

She looked up at him through her eyelashes, wondering more than she asked out loud. But the girl started to feel dizzy, tired.. sleepy.. Was it the trick he used on her?

His smile was fading, blurry.. "Byaku…"

* * *

She woke up to a familiar ceiling. The boring, dull color of white. Bluebell glanced over to the side of the clock, it was eight at night. Eight…? Did she fall asleep?

The girl sat up slowly, touching her hand to her head. Head? Then she remembered. Byakuran… The, the…

She supposed that was why she had the best sleep in a while. Undisturbed without nightmares, bothered by tragic recollections of the past. Of course she would never forget what she had remembered. It was something that Bluebell was going to carry or the rest of her life, like weight on her shoulders.

But the rest had been lifted.

Bluebell was free. From now on.

She felt lighter, more unrestrained. Her mind could now be to herself. Herself of this world. No past holding her down. She felt like dancing, jumping, frolicking through some spring meadow. She felt like she could do all of those, but higher, faster.

And it was thanks to him.

Much like everything else.

Because of him. Because of Byakuran.

* * *

**{ ... }**

* * *

"Bluebell."

The bluelette froze for a moment. These are one of the few times that she actually noticed when he called her without a horrific, usually during more serious times.

It awoke a few flutters in her, a slight warmth to her face. "Yes?"

"Mmm.." The teen hummed before shaking his head. A hand was brought upon her hair, patting her gently. She wondered what he was about to say.

* * *

The next day was the same, in the garden of lush green grass and a beautiful array of colorful flowers.

"Bluebell." The word, her name, echoed in her mind long after it was expelled from him. The way the sunlight shone down on him made him look absolutely stunning. Byakuran was like an angel. If she was a painter, she would have metaphorically chosen to depict him with the most graceful looking wings.

"Yes, Byakuran?"

His hand ran down the side of her hair and she watched as the blue strands slid down his pale fingers. The long end of her hair stopped in his loose grasp and she was in a trance as he lifted it higher, pressing it to his lips.

…?... And she was sure she was as bright as those red carnation flowers behind him. Her lips parted, but there were no words that could help her.

"What would you like to do today, princess?" And she had never been more fond of any nickname anyone had given, perhaps even from her brother.

But she supposed she still loved her name- rather the sound of her name, pronounced from his kind and gentle voice.

* * *

This occurred often the next couple of days, the next couple of days of peace and warmth. Byakuran would call her name for no reason. "Bluebell."

Once on the strip of sand and an orange hued sunsetting sky that she was proud to say she walked a good portion of. Once while making desserts and funny shaped cookies, an aroma of sugar and chocolate that delightfully filled the otherwise unwelcoming home. Once beside the pool side that faithfully reflected the sky above. Once as they walked down the crowded street, with her small hand in his as he tightened his reassuring grip every once in awhile.

"Bluebell."

She would reply, and she would smile. And there wasn't once that the wake of butterflies in her stomach didn't flutter joyously to the sound. Never once did the blush miss its role on her cheeks, painting her in the tints and shades of red.

"Byakuran."

But he would never say much more than that. Though his warm smile grew more and more weary, she noticed

She wondered why. But she liked the way he called her name anyway.

Then, one week later, she knew. She knew why he kept calling her name and waiting for her reply. Because one week later, she stiffened in fright.

She backed up away from his hand and batted it away with a loud slap.

And she hugged herself as she shook slightly in fear.

And she regarded him with wide, afraid eyes.

And she yelled something she already regretted, "**GET AWAY**!" but she was so _scared_.

_Of him_.

* * *

_Thanks for reading!_  
_A penny (marshmallow) for your thoughts?_

_Also, if you'd like seldom teasers for this story (with some KHR doodles, cosplay, etc).  
Please follow **chrihstie** on tumblr. c:_


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